I must say, I’m feeling a little bit confused at the moment. Many of you will know about my insecurities and trust issues in regards to when my boyfriend goes out. Of course, I know he is very much in love with me and would never cheat on me but I still feel sick to my stomach when I hear he’s going out with his friends. Anyway, this is not news but I’ve spent the morning reading up on articles and peoples posts about this issue. I noticed a few of them talked about separation anxiety? Could this be what is causing me to feel like this?
When I was small I lived with my mum and saw my dad from Thursday to Sunday. Every single week I would cry my heart out when I had to leave him and would spend most of the week feeling upset and lonely without him. I have friends now but nowhere near as much as I used to. Going back and forth between the two houses made it quite hard for me to stay in contact with my school friends as I would only ever see them when in school. When my boyfriend tells me he’s going out I don’t instantly think of him cheating on me, I actually feel anxious about finding someone I can hang out with when he’s not there.
So looking at that and the way I am now, could that be the cause of my anxiety? I’ve always felt as though I do trust my partner and partners from the past but the thought of them going out without me really scared me. I always find that making plans and going out myself when he is out makes things A LOT better. If I know I’m going out and doing my own thing I won’t mind him going out and will enjoy being out myself.
Does this mean I’m just scared of being alone? Scared of being without him? I have no idea. I am learning things about myself all the time and this blog is definitely helping me look deeper inside myself and find out why I’m feeling this way.